Is every conversation a fight? Does family time, which is supposed to be relaxing, end up in either an argument or sullen silence? When your teen does talk to you, do you have any idea what to say?
This is incredibly exasperating for both your and your family. It can feel like you get stuck in a cycle of frustration, with each side either blaming the other, or just refusing to engage. Does your teen refuse to listen? Does it feel like they don’t care? Have they accused you of the same?
I don’t want to minimize what you, or those in your family are going through. However, if you don’t learn to communicate effectively, then you will never be able to address the problems directly. If your family doesn’t think that you understand or emotionally tolerate what’s going on in their life, they won’t say anything about it. If you don’t know how to make your child feel safe or connect in an emotional way, your attempts will fall on deaf ears.
There is a direct solution. Families, especially parents and teens, often speak different languages. Over time, trust degrades to the point where even if you all could speak the same language, it’s unlikely either of you would want to.
If you want to have dinners where everyone is talking, or be actually able to know how your child’s day at school went, you have to create this communication. Learning what your child feels, being able to accept it, and connecting with them around it will remove the largest obstacle to the challenges you are dealing with in your family. Do you want your child to come to you for advice? Do you want to be able to have a serious conversation with your teen without sullen resentment? Do you want to feel like a good parent again? Then reach out and start talking to your teen.
If you don’t know how to start this process, want support and guidance through all of this, or even if you just feel overwhelmed, please don’t hesitate to contact me, use the form below, or call me at 303-578-2243 for a free 30 minute assessment and consultation.